Is Sullivan suffering from heterosexual panic over Sarah Palin?

Now this is taken heavily from a commenter at Patterico.  I would link to the specific comment, but Patterico’s comment section is all messed up, but this is the post you can look to.

Now Andrew Sullivan used to be one of my daily reads.  He was an interesting and energetic conservativish guy who wrote well, and linked to interesting things.  Then Bush came out against gay marriage and almost overnight Sullivan turned against him and became a downright stereotypical Bush basher.  Which just made him boring and mostly I ignored him.  Then I started learning that he was going absolutely bonkers over Sarah Palin.  As in, he once said “Palin's vagina is the font of all evil in the galaxy.”

To the extent I have paid attention, he seems to have been focused on the theory that Palin’s youngest child is actually Bristol’s first child (the one she had publicly being her second).  Now I won’t go over the evidence, because I am sure you guys can find that elsewhere, but what an unhinged look at conservatives?  Does he really think that anyone would hold it against Palin if Bistol had a kid out of wedlock?  Well, if you aren’t sure, let’s remember that Bristol openly had a kid out of wedlock, and it didn’t phase us.  So the big thing missing from his deranged theory is any coherent explanation of why she would go to all that trouble, with the attendant risks of being caught?  And as usual with any of these conspiracy theories, you should ask just how many people would have to be silent—or silenced—to keep the secret.  It is almost as impossible as the various “truther” theories of 9-11.  Its kooky in a “the Jooos run the world” sort of way.

So with that I really stopped having any interest in him, except for a vague feeling of “what the fuck is wrong with him?”  But then I learned, via Patterico, that Sullivan intentionally or not gave us a giant clue.  He wrote:

I had a dream last night that I was lost in Sarah Palin's garden. It was springtime, and there were bluebells everywhere. I suddenly realized where I was and tried to get out to the street. But there was just more garden ...

Now more than a few people have pointed out that supposedly in dreams, gardens were often symbolic of, ahem, another area of vaginas.  I am always leery of those kinds of theories, though, because often its just snake oil.  But this is more interesting.  You see, Sullivan really loved Orwell, and in 1984 there is a woman the hero both hates and wants, named Julia.  And they have a tryst together.  And the chapter makes frequent references to bluebells.

And suddenly it clicked.  Think of how much sense this hypothesis makes: against all odds, Andrew Sullivan, a gay man who reportedly was a pioneer on the subject of gay marriage...  wants to fuck Sarah Palin.  The man who wants a woman so badly he resents her for his desire is nothing new.  Especially in politics; I have long said that nothing makes a liberal more crazy than a sexy conservative woman.  But there is an extra dimension of hate when the lust undermines the self image you have created for yourself.  He’s not only gay, but he is an outspoken gay activist.  So imagine how unsettling it would be to be attracted to woman under those circumstances.  Think of how much Sullivan has suffered for being gay, and then imagine him being confronted with the possibility that all of that was for nothing.

It is said that homosexual panic is the fear of a person who considers himself straight that he might actually be gay.  This panic can often turn to rage, and irrational acts such as violence.  If its real, then is it so unreasonable to suspect that where a man who considers himself to be gay suddenly feels attraction to a woman, they might equally suffer from heterosexual panic, leading to irrational behavior?

Honestly, who can know?  I mean this is the part of psychology that just isn’t science.  It’s just bloviating, opinion, etc.  But it would explain a whole lot, right?

So Andrew, if you are listening, maybe it’s time to come out of the closet.  We won’t think any less of you if you turn out not to be gay.  (Riffing off of South Park’s “closet” routine starring Tom Cruise.)